The commune is vacant tonight. I have sent my friends/neighbors/housies off to an overnight retreat, much like a mother sending her young children to camp (someone has to take of them). I have taken the past hour to begin catching up with one of my best friends from Rockford—a task that is not finished, but will be continued once she gets to work. I am resolved to spend the rest of the evening doing something productive…I’m thinking a little writing, a little IHOP (not the restaurant), and a little Lore time (that is if she has a break from being an RA).
I am also resolved to enjoying these days that are filled with warmth and sunshine…before I head north where it is not so toasty. Yep. I do love this climate. Soon Summer Fun Barbie will have to be traded for…Country Time Barbie…who will then be traded for European Fun Barbie.
Today I said goodbye to one of my really good friends here. She is probably the first friend I made here…and it all started with soccer games:) She is a complete blessing from the Lord. She helps me make sense of things, not only by letting me talk it out, but also by giving me her input. She’s been my chapel buddy for two semesters. She’s supported me in prayer when I didn’t even ask her to. She’s pretty much the best. I love her. I’m going to miss her crazy mad. She’s graduating in December, leaving here before I return. Ah. I’ll be there for her wedding though:) God has been so good to me with the friends He has brought into my life.
4.28.2006
4.23.2006
Just a bit o' randomness....
I'm a mite tired...and I want to take a nap...but I have to write five pages about how I went to St. Louis and served with Urban Outreach. Eh.
Well, I re-entered the working world for the weekend, thanks to my friend...eh...I mean boss? I must say, though, that it's hard to constitute hanging out with my friend and going to car shows and baseball games as work.
Tomorrow the new week begins...a week that will go by all too quickly as we wrap up the semester with two more days of classes and the first two days of finals....throw in a paper, a take-home final/paper and a four-page newsletter to complete, a "reading day" and one last performance with the dance team, and my week is gone. It's my last full week here (at least I'm planning on it being so). One more weekend...one more Sunday service....two more Tuesday night Living Room's....nine more days with all of the people I love here, before some of them go to Florida for a few days and I head home. Last night after the worship service, one of my roommates came up to me, looking like she had been crying. She said that it hit her that I was really leaving and very shortly so....and she began to cry again. I'm trying to save my tears for when I leave...a few slip out, though, every now and then...sometimes at the most unseemly times.
Another friend asked why I didn't post very often. I said it was because I don't have much new to say...mostly the same: time goes by really fast; I'm excited but...scared...about New York...but am confident that that's where I'm suppose to go; I'm going to miss my friends here like crazy; God is good; God is so incredibly faithful. Not to say that God hasn't been doing new things in me...because, oh, He has. He's very trustworthy and faithful. He does reveal Himself to the open heart and His plans to the willing mind.
Well, I do believe I might have placed my blanket over an ant colony in my front yard because they're crawling all over.
Adieu.
Well, I re-entered the working world for the weekend, thanks to my friend...eh...I mean boss? I must say, though, that it's hard to constitute hanging out with my friend and going to car shows and baseball games as work.
Tomorrow the new week begins...a week that will go by all too quickly as we wrap up the semester with two more days of classes and the first two days of finals....throw in a paper, a take-home final/paper and a four-page newsletter to complete, a "reading day" and one last performance with the dance team, and my week is gone. It's my last full week here (at least I'm planning on it being so). One more weekend...one more Sunday service....two more Tuesday night Living Room's....nine more days with all of the people I love here, before some of them go to Florida for a few days and I head home. Last night after the worship service, one of my roommates came up to me, looking like she had been crying. She said that it hit her that I was really leaving and very shortly so....and she began to cry again. I'm trying to save my tears for when I leave...a few slip out, though, every now and then...sometimes at the most unseemly times.
Another friend asked why I didn't post very often. I said it was because I don't have much new to say...mostly the same: time goes by really fast; I'm excited but...scared...about New York...but am confident that that's where I'm suppose to go; I'm going to miss my friends here like crazy; God is good; God is so incredibly faithful. Not to say that God hasn't been doing new things in me...because, oh, He has. He's very trustworthy and faithful. He does reveal Himself to the open heart and His plans to the willing mind.
Well, I do believe I might have placed my blanket over an ant colony in my front yard because they're crawling all over.
Adieu.
4.16.2006
The only thing constant...
Every time I come back to Rockford there is something new. This time it was the Red Robin in front of Gordman’s and Guitar Center across from Circuit City that I passed on my way through town. Along with the changing development of the city, there is also the change that I see more personally. Whether it be my sisters’ new haircuts or the absence of friends who have moved away or the presence of a new little niece to love or the extra inches of height of my oldest niece, I am reminded that life is continually changing…with or without me.
Not everything changes, though, and I take comfort in those simple things that remain the same…not so unfamiliar is the feel of my niece clutching my pointer finger as we walk to the. A night of mini-golfing and walking by the river with friends makes it seem as if I haven’t been gone too long. It’s nice to know that some things remain the same…even in the midst of this changing world.
I wish, however, that I would not return to some things that remain unchanged. Perhaps one day my heart won’t break for the people I love…or perhaps there will be unity in my family…. perhaps even there won’t even be that constant nagging knowledge every time I come back that things are not as they should be… For this change I can only pray and hope.
But, in all this changing/not-changing, this time I am most greatly aware of the change in me. I notice not only the Chicago accents on the radio, but the way I refer to Cleveland as, “When I’m at home…” I notice how I give stronger hugs to my friends here…thanks to my friends down there. I notice the not-so-obvious changes in me, and indeed marvel at how much I’ve grown in the past few months. I notice that while this may be where my family is, it is becoming less “home”…and I wonder if it really ever will be again.
Not everything changes, though, and I take comfort in those simple things that remain the same…not so unfamiliar is the feel of my niece clutching my pointer finger as we walk to the. A night of mini-golfing and walking by the river with friends makes it seem as if I haven’t been gone too long. It’s nice to know that some things remain the same…even in the midst of this changing world.
I wish, however, that I would not return to some things that remain unchanged. Perhaps one day my heart won’t break for the people I love…or perhaps there will be unity in my family…. perhaps even there won’t even be that constant nagging knowledge every time I come back that things are not as they should be… For this change I can only pray and hope.
But, in all this changing/not-changing, this time I am most greatly aware of the change in me. I notice not only the Chicago accents on the radio, but the way I refer to Cleveland as, “When I’m at home…” I notice how I give stronger hugs to my friends here…thanks to my friends down there. I notice the not-so-obvious changes in me, and indeed marvel at how much I’ve grown in the past few months. I notice that while this may be where my family is, it is becoming less “home”…and I wonder if it really ever will be again.
4.06.2006
These flip-flops are made for flip-floppin'...
Days like these make me miss the Rock River. I was perusing some old xanga posts of mine, and I stumbled across some from the summer that mentioned our walks. My friends Dawn, Brandie and Brandon and I would walk the path for miles at night, beginning at the Y and turning around at the playground. As we walked, we talked about various topics of current significance, sometimes broke up into twos, sometimes made fun of the way someone walked (I somehow was dubbed “The Hipster”)…and of course the best part of all was reaching the playground and swinging on the swings for a good 30 minutes or so. I talked to Dawn yesterday while basking in this southern sun…and I wanted to go for one of those walks. I don’t know what it is, but I just love walking at night…or during the day…it’s kind of an escape…a perfect time to talk with someone…or reflect and pray by myself. So, until I return home and take my place on the bike path once more, I will have to settle for walks around the neighborhood…being mindful to stay on the lighted parts of the streets (I live in a good neighborhood…I do!).
4.03.2006
AND friends are friends forever....
It was sunny and warm today, so the housies and I moved the table out onto our delightful front porch. I spent the good part of my day sitting at the table, enjoying the weather and the “extra” hour of sunlight. I tried to be productive as I busied myself with 12 workbook pages of Spanish as he sat to my right and read me old entries from his blog. I actually finished the majority of my work (leaving the three writing sections for last and later), though I had to occasionally break from my conjugating to laugh at the random rambling of my friend. Always good times with my buck-a-roo. He’s a funny guy…among other things.
And as the end of the semester draws nearer and nearer, I can’t help but think about how much I’m going to miss that funny guy and that non-observant but loving girl, as well as the rest of my friends. I did indeed almost cry last night as we sat in the Dixon Center, waiting for Cinderella to begin. So hard. These are some of my best friends. Oh, how I love them. Oh, how I’m going to miss them.
I sometimes ask myself just what in the world I’m doing. Am I crazy? Leave here to go to the north country of New York? Hmmm…perhaps I was being emotional…. BUT, no. I’m quickly reminded that God doesn’t always answer the why’s when we want to know…and He doesn’t always ask us to do the easiest things. He asks for obedience. He asks for faith.
Yes. I am going to New York, and I am stilled excited about it. Slightly apprehensive…naturally. But I trust Him and His faithfulness. How could I not? He’s proved Himself faithful over and over again. Plus, He’s made it quite obvious to me that this is His best for me right now. The other day during one of my moments of “Am I crazy?”, I opened up a devotional book I had received as a gift a year and half ago. I had just found it again that day…March 27. So I read, “The Lord said to Abram, Go…away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you,” Genesis 12:21. Okay. I got it, Lord. :)
So now, I try and use the discipline He has given me to finish my semester with excellence when all I really want to do is spend my time with my friends who really are more like family. I thank God for my time here. And I thank God for what the rest of the year holds. The Lord definitely has something in store. And to that I say, rock on.
And as the end of the semester draws nearer and nearer, I can’t help but think about how much I’m going to miss that funny guy and that non-observant but loving girl, as well as the rest of my friends. I did indeed almost cry last night as we sat in the Dixon Center, waiting for Cinderella to begin. So hard. These are some of my best friends. Oh, how I love them. Oh, how I’m going to miss them.
I sometimes ask myself just what in the world I’m doing. Am I crazy? Leave here to go to the north country of New York? Hmmm…perhaps I was being emotional…. BUT, no. I’m quickly reminded that God doesn’t always answer the why’s when we want to know…and He doesn’t always ask us to do the easiest things. He asks for obedience. He asks for faith.
Yes. I am going to New York, and I am stilled excited about it. Slightly apprehensive…naturally. But I trust Him and His faithfulness. How could I not? He’s proved Himself faithful over and over again. Plus, He’s made it quite obvious to me that this is His best for me right now. The other day during one of my moments of “Am I crazy?”, I opened up a devotional book I had received as a gift a year and half ago. I had just found it again that day…March 27. So I read, “The Lord said to Abram, Go…away from your country, from your relatives and your father’s house, to the land that I will show you,” Genesis 12:21. Okay. I got it, Lord. :)
So now, I try and use the discipline He has given me to finish my semester with excellence when all I really want to do is spend my time with my friends who really are more like family. I thank God for my time here. And I thank God for what the rest of the year holds. The Lord definitely has something in store. And to that I say, rock on.
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