"I'm a big kid now...or not..."

Sunday afternoon finds me in my old dorm, waiting for my laundry to finish drying. I probably should be doing homework, but the mass of thoughts swirling through my head require me to be here…not writing for a grade.

One of the subjects in brain this week have been about growing.

So easily are many deceived into confusing the concepts of “growing up” and “growth.” The fear or attitude that we need to be “somebody” before doing something causes many to do nothing. And the concept of being “somebody” takes many forms, but the most common and probably most unnoticed is to believe that we need to be the somebody who has things all figured out and knows what one needs to know…and course never requires help and never makes mistakes. This attitude of reaching some state where we will feel that we have sufficiently matured and know what there is to know, is nothing but pride and a lie we’ve told ourselves to excuse our fears.

Growth. We eventually stop growing up, but we never stop growing. We may never “feel” that we are ready to do something. And this can paralyze us from doing anything. We must accept our imperfection. We must accept that we do not know everything. We must choose to be teachable. Choose to take risks. It’s in the doing where we grow. As the book title says, “You can’t walk on water until you get out of the boat.” A stagnant spirit, waiting to come to some utopian state before deeming oneself “ready” for a move in life is nothing but a fear-driven excuse. Sometimes, it’s only in taking that step…it’s only in accepting our own weaknesses and imperfection…and walking in the faith of God…where we truly grow.

Growth is found in admitting that I’m not perfect. It’s found in denying my pride and grasping humility. It’s in refusing to be stubborn. It’s in spurning an unteachable spirit. It’s in trusting God and His ways of growing me enough to make my faith active.

I’m no longer a kid. I’ve been deemed “mature” for quite sometime now. I’ve done my share of “growing up”…but I’ll be the first to admit that I not done growing. I’ll be growing until the day I die. I better get used to it. I’m a 22-year-old woman who doesn’t know it all and is far from perfect. And I’ve yet to walk on water, but the Lord beckons me to come out of the boat. I’m not going to let my pride or fear keep me from responding to God’s call for me….God’s call to “grow up,” leave behind those days of both my personal and spiritual childhood and respond to His call to be a woman of God. A woman of God who will spend the rest of her life learning…and growing.