*Gasp*...not so random...

Well, the semester is finally over, and I'm looking forward to returning to Rockford on Sunday and seeing the fam.

Until then, I'll enjoy the Tennessee weather. Today reminds me of April. It's nice. After dropping off my little car to be checked out, I walked for about 40 minutes, eventually finding myself here...the library.

So, as this year comes to a close, I'm—of course—reflective of the past 365 days. As my roommates are well-aware of, I have this ability...this tendency...to remember random "anniversaries." Like, one year ago today I was driving to Illinois for Christmas break.

And so I started to think about what this "one year" has held...and how much I've changed.

God has definitely been at work in my today. He's pushed me and pulled me. Every circumstance and situation has worked to draw me out of myself and closer to Him.

I think about a year ago when I first became friends with my roommates. It was random. I barely knew Beca when we decided to start looking for off-campus housing. I knew Rachel and Laura even less. But we moved in together in a very small--but very full of character :)--house. It was divine. God used that time in many, many ways, but I know the most significant for me was that I learned to...well...play well with others. I'm a bit of a loner and had lived most of my life not in community. God used those girls to bring be out of seclusion. I learned to be open, transparent...me. The people who know us best are the ones we live with because they see us in every situation...good and bad. Four girls living in one small house with one bedroom couldn't hide from each other. And I'm glad.

This year, on the roller coaster that was 2006, I went through the fire, through the testing, through the questioning, through the doubt, through the high highs and very low lows… I can’t say that I’ll be sad to leave 2006 behind, but I also wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve been brought to new places in the Lord. I’ve learned so much. Called higher. Grown greatly.

It’s not my own doing. I never could have gotten to where I am today alone—not that I’ve reached the top of the mountain or am resting on some high plateau. The chastening and relentless love of my heavenly Father has brought me here. It’s taken quite a bit for me to be utterly thankful for His work, but I am.

Last night at church I read Psalm 107. It mentioned “wandering.” It struck a chord. I feel as if I’ve been wandering for years and years. Like I’ve been walking in a haze, questioning what my calling is, what the purpose of everything is…almost seeing how pieces fit together but wondering what pieces are missing.

But I feel a change is coming. Like I can see the Promise Land though I’m not yet in it…it’s so close. I think next year is going to be quite a year. I’m expectant of what the Lord will bring about. I’m excited to experience His goodness in new ways. I’m excited for the vision, for the calling, for the providence, for the fullness.

And so, I will wait on Him and continue to seek His heart. I trust Him. He’s shown Himself so very faithful.